Her Majesty's Royal Space Force (A short play in one act)

THE QUEEN is strolling down a hallway, followed close behind by her HEAD BUTLER. As she passes a door, a BUTLER steps out, carrying a small cup of TEA.

BUTLER: I took the liberty of preparing you a cuppa, marm.

THE QUEEN looks from the TEA to the BUTLER and back again, before accepting it and gracing him with a small grin.

THE QUEEN: Another one of these, young man, and I smell a promotion in your future.

THE QUEEN and her HEAD BUTLER walk away, the HEAD BUTLER eyeing the BUTLER.

Six years later...

THE QUEEN is strolling down a hallway, followed close behind by her HEAD BUTLER. As she passes a door, a BUTLER steps out, carrying a small cup of TEA.

BUTLER: Your tea, marm.

THE QUEEN looks from the TEA to the BUTLER and back again, before accepting it and gracing him with a small grin.

THE QUEEN: Ah. Yes. I've been wondering how long it would take.

SHE turns to her HEAD BUTLER.

THE QUEEN: Make this man a lieutenant in my Royal Astronautical Royal Space Royal Force, immediately.

HEAD BUTLER: Already did done do, marm.

THE QUEEN turns back. The BUTLER is now wearing a space suit, complete with bubble helmet, and is standing on top of a spaceship. They are still inside the hallway. It's now huge.

BUTLER: I will do my duty as a member of the Royal Astronautical Royal Space Royal Royal Royal Force Space Royal Space Queen's Royal Space Force Royal Shabadu. I will conquer new worlds, kill the scum who dared to live there before me, pee in their skulls, and drink that pee because there's nothing else worth drinking in space!

The HEAD BUTLER, shedding a tear, salutes.

HEAD BUTLER: Quite!

THE QUEEN, shedding a tear, salutes.

THE QUEEN: Godspeed!

The LIEUTENANT, shedding a tear, salutes.

LIEUTENANT: God save the queen!

ALL: God save the queen!

Hanger Crew of the ZDL Lionell Caine 1

Richard "Fatman" Pozz and Elliot "Littleboy" Kramer are the Caine's resident experts on the navigation systems for the experimental Leis Rafter hybrid. Their nicknames are unironic. They usually get very little attention from the majority of the pilots, with the exception of Lobber and Cruft, the two LR pilots, who have managed to develop a decent working relationship with the pair.

The dragon

It doesn't have a name, at least not one anyone knows; it's just the dragon. It usually keeps to itself, but sometimes it comes around and wrecks shit because it can. Or maybe it's hungry. Whatever. It's a dragon, it's alien and weird and it attacks us sometimes.

The dragon has 20d8 HP and no armor class (Stole that from Broodmother Skyfortress. Buy it. It's awesome.), which means you can hit it just by wanting to hit it BUT all damage does to it is at -5. It can attack basically however it wants, any attack it tries does 4d6 damage to however many enemies the GM deems appropriate (including a breath weapon).

Basically don't fuck with it. BUT if you really want to take it down, the old hill hag knows how to kill it; track down a couple of reagents for her and she can make you a poison that will kill the dragon, but it's gotta eat the stuff (Exception to the hit it rule: if you wanna try to throw the bottle into its open mouth you gotta get a critical hit). The poison is made of three things that will require the party to go on other adventures to find (Lich's dick, The Jeweled Eyes of Gablong, whatever).

Spencer Daw (v1)

Spencer Daw is a notorious criminal, a sneak-thief and con-man wanted across a dozen governments for a multitude of crimes both mundane and serious. His bounty if captured alive and brought to trial in even one jurisdiction is more than the gross income of some planets.

He's also a really nice guy who happens to be a really good grifter. He is clean, sober, polite to a fault, and always willing to lend a hand or save a life, assuming it won't be suicidal to do so; he will allow himself to be imprisoned if it will keep someone else from dying. He is incredibly gifted at escaping almost any perilous situation.

If the players are on his trail, keep them constantly in the dark about wether or not the crimes he's wanted for were actually commited by him or not; they should never come to believe he is either wholly innocent or wholly guilty of anything except existing and being notorious. And if it makes it more fun, keep them guessing about those things, too.

Mechanics wise he's a 0th-level character with above-average intelligence, wisdom, and charisma, and average everything else. He has the unique gift of being able to escape any situation, including obvious death, 5 out of 6 times. He will not, however, willingly place himself into a situation where the outcome is obvious death without a clear and coherant plan to escape (in the event of a surprise situation he is saved by some deus ex machina which only applies to him, though he will usually offer to extend aid to those around him). This escape ability includes his ability to not be surprised and applies as all of his save rolls and even for taking damage (Literally any time you have to roll for Spencer to avoid some fate roll a d6, and on a 5 or less he succeeds).

He is moderately skilled at everything, a jack-of-all-trades who will succeed at any task on a roll of 12 or less on a d20. Any of his successes are treated as critical in the sense that they are bombastic and amazing to behold.

He will not actively help anyone, in the sense that he will not come to someone's aid as a plan but only as a spur-of-the-moment decision, and only if that help will keep them from dying or furthers whatever plan he has at the moment.

Plague Beavers

Plague Beavers, 1HD monster, AC like chain, speed twice of an unencumbered human. 1d4 bite attack, 1d4 tail-slap attack. A successful bite attack has a 25% chance of becoming infected with Beaver Fever.

Beaver Fever causes sweats, palpatations, and random vomitting (-1 to all rolls while sick, plus you throw up whatever's in your stomach on a 1 in 6 every whenever the GM tells you to roll, taking up a combat turn where you can't really do anything else). It passes after 2 successful CON checks during overnight (or between adventures/during downtime, whatever) rests in a row.

They look like beavers, but mangy and grey, sick; their skin is loose, their eyes mad, they foam slightly at the mouth. Plus they make that obnoxious NYEEEE sound when they're in danger, which can attract more of them (1 in 6 chance of summoning however many beavers are in the area, or 1d6 more, whichever).