The Castrated Wolf of Whiteford

The party passes through Whiteford while on the way to somewhere more important, and find it mostly abandoned, the only signs of life a few corpses and a smoldering old man, the only survivor of last night's attack. Through burnt lips he tells you of the shape-shifted wizard Agnencor, trapped in the body of a massive wolf, and how he must be stopped before he spreads his fury across more of the land. If the party agrees to hunt the wolf the old man will give them directions to the wizard's tower and promise untold riches will be found within. He then utters the phrase "you must remember to kill the wolf with the silver balls" before dying.

If the party continues on this line of plot they will eventually find the tower, break in, discover all kinds of neat shit, including a set of silver worry balls on an ebony pillow, and may actually set out to kill the wolf. They may even figure out that the dying man's last words meant Agnencor was a castrato and has a set of prosthetic silver testicles, not that they have to use the worry balls as weapons against him. Or that Agnencor has a small pack of wolves he has dominated and taught basic fire magic to, and thus there are multiple targets to be had. Agnencor will flee and become a regular nuisance to the party if they manage to do enough damage to him or kill his retinue.

Agnencor is a normal wolf, stats-wise, except for his high intelligence and his spells; when the party discovers him he has a fireball spell memorized and there's a 50-50 chance he also has a fire golem spell still ready to fire off. His pack are also normal wolves who each have two fire-based spells memorized.

The Mocap Tribe

Among the ruins of what used to be the Paramount Studio lot on Melrose live one the larger gangs of the area, the Mocaps. They've learned to adapt and reuse the old studio equipment to expand their influence greatly with special effects and chicanery; each member wears a portable projector around their neck which allows them to display a holographic image of their choosing around them, distorting and obscuring themselves among the color and shape of the seemingly alive illusion.

Horses don't exist

They're mythical creatures, spoken of by mad knights and shrewd stable-boys. Think you've ridden a horse, before? Of course you have, dear boy. Clearly what you're astride now is a nihilcorn, a ruined unicorn, gelded and made tame by removing its horn. Common enough, since unicorns are rampant.

Now horses, horses are rare. Incredibly so. Seeing a real horse is a thing of mystery and wonder, and you'd better catch it and take out any bits you can before it fades, because those bits sell for more money than you can imagine to wizards, witches, and kings. You can tell the difference by the face, and the ears, and the legs, and the tail. Mostly the tail. It's different.

Many people will claim to have seen a horse, to have touched one, ridden one, fed it and kept it warm. They're liars, insane, or trying to sell you something. Probably a horse. Just remember, you're sane, you're fine, there are no horses, only nihilcorns.

(Stolen and badly adapted from the amazing Goblin Punch.)

Mazran Oracle

The Oracle at the Mazran Temple requires a sacrifice of vitality before it will reveal an ultimate truth to visitors. After spilling a measure of blood into the brass urn the temple room will turn completely black and the oracle, glowing with an inner light, will reveal itself. It will answer any questions directed to it with perfect accuracy, though it's answers will always be vague and couched in mystical terms, but it will only tolerate two or three questions per sacrifice before departing. Once the visitor is done they will leave feeling as though drugged, convinced they saw nothing but smoke and darkness, but aware of thoughts not their own that solve their problem.

(Image, used without even a shred of permission, by Grieverjoe.)

An Excavation in Egypt, 1817

This is a collaborative story-telling game. Which I hate, but the idea has come to me so here it is.

The players are employees of Henry Salt, famous Egyptologist and infamous robber of the dead. They have just found something in the sand; a stairway. An unknown tomb, perhaps? Or an unknown side-entrance to a known crypt? The cards will tell.

Yeah. Cards. I dislike card-based games, too, but here it is. Take a standard 52-card deck (I'll come up with rules for using a 6-suit deck later), shuffle it, and lay the whole thing face down on the table. Play starts with whomever goes "So we found this stairway..." first. They draw the top card, then using it as a guide describe the first 'room' of the new crypt, as well as what their explorer does when they enter it. Play then continues to the next person who speaks up, until everyone has had a turn. Then the next round begins, where the first person who goes "Then we found a..." gets to draw a card, and the game continues in that vein.

Hearts: Something related to health and safety, life, love, shit like that.
Spades: Something to do with finding something, digging, searching, cracking open a door.
Clubs: Something violent, a trap or altercation between explorers, or MUMMY or some shit.
Diamonds: Fuckin' treasure.
Jokers: Salt shows up and ruins everything by taking credit for whatever the player was about to do, sends everyone away. Game Over.

Higher the card the better the thing (use your judgement, you fucks. A 2 of Diamonds would be a broken chunk of pottery, a Q of Clubs would be a giant fucking scorpion or something), from 2 to 10, then face-cards, then the aces.

Take a card or something and draw a rough map of the place you're exploring, make notes or whatever, and keep track of treasure found. In the event of combat, everyone draws a card and whoever draws lowest gets hurt. If anyone gets hurt three times before someone bothers to say something like "I patch Iggins' wounds with a piece of my shirt and some saliva" they die. Whoever draws highest wrecks whatever's attacking the group. Put those cards back in the deck and re-shuffle.

When you draw cards normally put them in discard; when the deck's done, you're done.

There. You've told a thrilling tale of tombs and robbers. Good job.