Thursday, September 21, 2017

Horses don't exist

They're mythical creatures, spoken of by mad knights and shrewd stable-boys. Think you've ridden a horse, before? Of course you have, dear boy. Clearly what you're astride now is a nihilcorn, a ruined unicorn, gelded and made tame by removing its horn. Common enough, since unicorns are rampant.

Now horses, horses are rare. Incredibly so. Seeing a real horse is a thing of mystery and wonder, and you'd better catch it and take out any bits you can before it fades, because those bits sell for more money than you can imagine to wizards, witches, and kings. You can tell the difference by the face, and the ears, and the legs, and the tail. Mostly the tail. It's different.

Many people will claim to have seen a horse, to have touched one, ridden one, fed it and kept it warm. They're liars, insane, or trying to sell you something. Probably a horse. Just remember, you're sane, you're fine, there are no horses, only nihilcorns.

(Stolen and badly adapted from the amazing Goblin Punch.)

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